Thursday, May 1, 2014

Picked Redford in ‘drunken stupor,’ Alberta Tories headed for rehab: Prentice

A group of Alberta Conservatives in rehab thinks about the need for the province to get back in touch with its higher power
Alberta’s embattled Progressive Conservatives will take an immediate break from campaigning for re-election while the entire party goes into rehab, says Premier Designate Jim Prentice.

“We have realized we have a serious problem, and we’re going to do something about it,” said Prentice, now seen by all authorities and experts in Alberta as the answer to both the PCs’ and the province’s problems.

“I wasn’t here when it happened, and thank God for that, but basically the party was in a drunken stupor when it chose Alison Redford as premier,” Mr. Prentice said. “Obviously, we make terrible decisions when we’re under the influence. We’re really sorry but we’re only human. What more can we say?

“We are going to deal with that in rehab to ensure it doesn’t happen again – and I’m here to prove that it won’t – and then we’re going to get back to campaigning for re-election on why it’s essential to Alberta give this party a second chance,” he said.

The unexpected announcement came after the party had already launched a re-election campaign based on the importance of forgiving mistakes and giving second chances to governing parties, as long as they’re not in Manitoba.

Opposition critics complained the move threatens to put Alberta’s business on the back burner while attention focuses once again on the PC Party’s problems. But Prentice said the Tories can’t expect to be forgiven by voters if they don’t deal with their demons in rehab. “We are the Alberta Tories, after all, so we all understand it’s essential for the province for us to be forgiven.

“We’ve had our come-to-Jesus moment,” Prentice added. “Now it’s the voters’ responsibility to come to us.”

Redford was chosen as the Tory leader in October 2011. She was fired by the party’s legislative caucus last month for reasons that have not yet been fully explained.

She was replaced as premier on a temporary basis by former deputy premier Dave Hancock until Mr. Prentice’s appointment as leader can be confirmed by a party ratification vote in September, which was chosen because it’s not October.

Despite recent claims by Hancock that the party is doing better, cabinet ministers have been recorded on several occasions recently behaving and speaking erratically.

However, Prentice’s shocking admission the entire party was in a “drunken stupor” when it chose Redford was a first. Hancock, who was there when it happened, could not be reached for comment.

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