Thursday, April 24, 2014
Post says Prentice still eyeing PC leadership bid: Doomsday Clock moves back
According to the respected Bulletin of Alberta Tory Scientists (BATS) – which created the theoretical device after the election as leader of Ralph Klein in 1992 to illustrate how far the PC Dynasty is from political apocalypse – the clock now sits at six minutes to midnight, or, rather, Six Minutes To Midnight.
The clock has been moving rapidly back and forth between two and four minutes to midnight since former premier Alison Redford resigned last month, BATS said, depending on whom the media thought was about to run for the party’s leadership. Before that, it had been stuck at one minute to midnight for almost two years.
The hands of time are moved in accordance with the analyses of a special board of scientists who ponder local and international threats to Tory rule in Alberta, especially those having to do with the leaders of political parties associated with pink flowers and orange fruits, or, south of the U.S. border, grey donkeys.
“For years, it just sat there at about 45 minutes to midnight, no one is sure why,” BATS said in its latest article, published yesterday.
According to the National Post, if Mr. Prentice really does run, the Clock could be pushed all the way back to 50 minutes to midnight. The banker and former federal Conservative, the newspaper said, “is simply the best person in the world, period. He’s really an exalted being, and you really don’t need to know anything more than that.”
“Alberta Tories can choose Mr. Prentice, or they can be cast into utter darkness for all of eternity,” the Post concluded in its commentary on the change in the Doomsday Clock. “The choice is theirs, and the Clock is ticking!"